Ive been trying to take this time off to relax and refresh. Ive worked Y-kids 4 of my 7 days off but it hasnt been too bad. I got to see Carissa last weekend :) we went to dinner at one of my favorite places and really got to catch up. I hadnt seen her since Christmas and friends have been pretty scarce around here lately so it was great to see her.
Today I get to see another visitor! Aunt Kathi, Uncle Mike and Noah are coming up from Missouri today :) I havent seen them since the wedding so I am pretty excited to see family again since the the wedding was the first time Ive had family come out here to KS.
I went to the doctor on Monday for my blood test to see what my pogesterone levels were, they called yesterday and said they were low and I have to go back again tomorrow. Low isnt a good sign, that probably means Im not pregnant again this month. Im getting to the point now where I almost just expect it to not happen every month. I ache inside but at the same time Im just angry and over it taking over my life. Some days I just want to sit on the kitchen floor and drink, and other days like yesterday I just come home and cry myself to sleep. Im so blessed to have an amazing husband who has been great through this whole process. I had called him yesterday after I talked to the doctor and let him know what they said, so by time I got home he had already been expecting my emotional behavior. So as I laid down , tears gently falling from my eyes, he simply came over rubbed my back for awhile and kissed me, then he turned on my sleep sounds relaxation music, turned out the lights and left me to nap. He knows what I need and he does it so gently, I know with the hormones I havent been so good to him, but yet he continues to treat me the way I should be treating him. He really is my best friend and I couldn't imagine going through this and life with anyone else.
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