Well I feel like I really jumped on this fertility train and then fell right off. Ive been taking these meds the whole winter break and still,..nothing, no cycle, so I called the Dr on friday but only got voicmails. Im assuming they will call me tomorrow and have me restart the process.... Which I was really hoping to get through the round of meds while on break considering that one of the meds says not to drive while taking, and another says that it weakens your immune system, and to stay away from people with contagious illness. Ha, I work with snot filled little children, they're kidding, right?
Anyway, thats my rant, as much as Ive tried to just go on with daily life and not dwell on it, it seems its always in the back of my mind, but Im sure that is normal, right? I mean, I dont know why I expected this to be easier, how could a child of mine, or any thought of a child of mine not be stubborn? Stubborn should of been my middle name, Glendons too for that matter.
So, well Christmas break comes to an end tonight, Im torn about going back to work, while Im happy I will have things to keep me busy, I kind of dread it, things were not going so well before break, I was constantly feeling like I just wasnt being heard, that my thoughts, my voice, meant nothing, yet here I am, everyday, working 11.5 hours, getting paid....well, for lack of a better word,...shit. Living paycheck to paycheck with no savings, only to be told that Im wrong, or what Im doing isnt enough. Ive always loved my job, I still do, dont get me wrong, its very rewarding most of the time, but this year, Ive seen why the turn over rate for special education is so great. We put so much effort into it, yet hardly get any appriciation, from adults anyways. If the smiles of children paid my bills, life would be grand.
I am very excited to see my Caleb. Caleb was the first student I ever worked with when I started at the school, he is MR in a Gen ed classroom, I work with him in class as well as pull him out to the resource room. He is such a sweet blessing of a child, his love and gratitude are unconditional. The highlight of my day for sure, and its been such a pleasure watching him grow. I dont know what Ill do after next year when he goes to middle school,...according to him, I will cry. I would say he is most certainly right. I will say after all the emotional breakdowns of this winter vacation, I am SO ready for that big hug from him. :)
Well I suppose that is all for now, the husband is on his way home, making supper then hittin the hay, hoping setting my alarm 15 min earlier is enough to deal whatever this winter storm brings us. I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas and New Years, God bless!
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